Can Men & Women Really Just Be Friends?
Or should I ask, when you are in a relationship, are friendships with people of the opposite sex possible? To this question, I think there are many answers. You know I have a few answers for this one myself...
Personally, I think that it is possible, however there are exceptions. If you've been friends with someone for a while and they were around when you and your honey got together, I think in an instance like that, it's cool. As long as they respect your space. What I mean by that is, where it used to be ok to call at midnight, that really can't happen anymore. I don't care who you are, your honey is going to feel some type of way if the phone is ringing at that time and it's not your Dad or brother. I have friends whom I've known for years, but when Jay and I got together, we remained friends, but there was an unsaid shift that happened in those relationships. Not that there was anything sketchy going on, nor was I ever romantically invloved with any of them, they just respected the new situation I was in and never took it personally when we only spoke a few times a year. Now if you and old boy was freakin each other, then that may change things. Your honey may not be so cool with that one.
But, what about the people you meet after you're already in a relationship. I think those are the ones that are particularly exceptional. I think you have to use your God-given instinct to gauge the intentions of the other person. I think we all have that thing that lets us know if someone wants to be your "friend" for another reason and I think we are able to say the same when it comes to the person that we are with. I think sometimes through situations like work and school, you meet people and build platonic relationships, but there are definitely times where it may start out that way and when you're good and comfortable with that person, they slide right on into your personal space where you're getting a text at midnight that reads, "What are you doing?" Then you say, "I'm in the bed". Enough said...
What do you think?
Labels: Friendships
posted by Ebby G. @ 2:59 PM
3 Comments:
2482I have 2 very good male friends.........One I did mess around with and one that i didnt.....AND never will!! We were young and friends way before anybody came along. We have not even thought about messing around since for years and we both have established that this is not an option for one of us. We are no longer into each other like that. Our friendship means more to us than messing around and throwing that bit in. When I got into my serious relationships after our brief fling.....HE respectively back down.
In my opinion it is really who it is and how much you trust them. If your SnEAKY BITCH radar comes on then it is time to CHECK A HOE>>>>>>.
From the other point of view.....I am not giving my friend up for nothing. I have gone through a lot and he has always been there. I would want my BOO to trust that what happened in the past is the past.
So what happens if you have platonic friends that want to be more than friends and you do not wish to take beyond a friendship but you have messed around with them?
In that case, you tell them just that and if they can't respect it, then I would pull back from the friendship. I also think it depends on how long ago it was and the extent of the "messing around", because feeling may be involved, thus those feelings are at risk of being hurt. So, I would just talk to your friend in all sincerity and hopefully they get it, if not, fall back for a while and give that person time to get over it and come around... That is if the friendship is worth it.
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