If They Point Down...

So, I was chatting with a very darling friend of mine, Cassandra, and we got on the subject of UNDERGARMENTS and that a lot of women are wearing the wrong ones or none at all. So I thought of all the undergarment faux pas that we women commit regularly and here are the ones that absolutely slay me:

Numero Uno: Going braless

-If your boobs sag, even just a little, and/or your nipples point down, you need a bra! (by the way, did anyone not tell her that her dress was sheer and that her boobage was totally visible?) Now, if you're kicking it in your white tee and shredded jeans at home or with your closest gal pals, hey take your bra off and liberate the girls. But if you are at a public event, or in public period, this is a No-No!!!! (And is it just me that hates to see random nippleage? I mean sometimes we get cold and we can't help it, but there's nothing wrong with a bra with a little cushion is all I'm saying.)

BTW: Girdles were made for days like this! LOL. Now, I'm a victim of "mommy pouch" and I don't know what I'd do without my Spanx or a girdle to such that in! And not for nothing, but a belt that cuts you right between the bulge... Which brings me to my next point.

Part Deux: Please and Spanx!

-Okay... If you have a pouch or a roll that you have to tuck in, like some of us do, may I suggest Spanx? What are Spanx you ask? Spanx are something like a girdle and pantyhose all in one. They smooth out the belly, butt, hips and thighs. You know what, I have another issue with this lady. Not only does she suffer from dunlap, she is clearly in denial about what size she is. Did she not know that shirt was too small? Just a thought...

- Below is another example when an investment in Spanx should have been made. Even for those of us who are a size 4, if your underwear cause you to have two butts, your rear has either become a vicim of gravity or it's bigger than you think and your drawers are too small! And another thing, if you have the kind of cellulite that you can see through your pants... I digress.

And just because I feel like it:

Say NO to hose and open toes! (<--My new campaign slogan) Unless of course you are the dancer Ginger Rogers. =)

I hope that I have enlightened someone today. Please let our quest to decrease VPL and the unwanted appearance of hard nipples and saggy breats not be in vein. Won't you join me on this campaign trail?

(collective chant and fist pumps)

"NO TO HOSE AND OPEN TOES...NO TO HOSE AND OPEN TOES"

"WHAT DO WE WANT? SPANX! WHEN DO WE WANT THEM? NOW!"